This morning we went over to my in-laws house for coffee and to see great Aunt Nora. Ah Nora, where do I begin?
Two weeks ago she kindly gave my mother-in-law a book to be passed along to ourselves and the other married sibling in the family entitled, Who is at the Centre of Your Marriage? The Pill or Jesus Christ? Of course I found the notion hysterical because 1. I am a non-theist and 2. What does she know about the pill anyways? The book is written by a pharmacist from Northern Ireland, and I stress pharmacist, not medical doctor or scientific researcher with a PhD. The central argument of the book is that the birth control pill can cause unknown abortions. Now call me crazy but I did actually read the entire book, if only to laugh at the sheer insanity of the arguments it was putting forward. I am admittedly pro-choice and also think that I and my husband, not God (whom I don't believe in so even saying this is irrelevant) determine the number of children we will produce. The research in the book is poor, and I can say this because I am a researcher - he relies on mainly religious doctrines and not scientific evidence to underpin his claims. What scientific evidence he does use is cited from other sources and is dated. In order for claims such as these to be taken seriously something like this needs to be published in a peer-reviewed academic journal with recent and rigorous research. Ok getting back on track here - so you can imagine that I was oh so looking forward to the exchange to be had with her. I had even looked through my bookshelf and was planning on letting her borrow my Paul Kurtz Forbidden Fruit just for some light secular humanist reading.
Instead and perhaps even more enjoyably, we discussed the place of married women in the home. i.e. she told me I shouldn't have to work, I should have a full time job keeping house and minding my children of which there should be more... I am sorry but if there is one thing I am prepared for it is feminist discussions like these. She said that a woman should be prepared to give up other things for her marriage. I pointed out that she held a very traditional (and classist) view that didn't represent the realities of people's lives - as in how is one supposed to raise a family on one salary - especially in Ireland with a mortgage. She responded that perhaps my spouse should leave his job and find a better one. Er, Nora - have you heard of the Recession? We went back and forth for sometime. I even mentioned that I enjoy working and why shouldn't I be the bread winner and my husband the stay at home dad with which he emphatically agreed. She also stated that she didn't think I needed college - oh right because education and empowerment that comes from it is a bad thing right? It soon became clear that there was no reasoning with someone who was unreasonable! What am I saying, I knew this going into the discussion but I still love arguing.
Perhaps why this might seem even more ridiculous is that she was a director of a very profitable company. She never married until she was in her 70s.
