VBAC

I have finally located a woman doctor in my area to attend as part of my combined care. Today was my first visit with her and she seems thoughtful and friendly, which I something I really look for in a doctor. During the course of our discussion about my previous pregnancy we began talking about the possibility of having another c section. I went in being pretty set on having a planned cesarian as I have often pondered over the situation that occurred during my last birth. I was devastated at the time that I had my emergency section. I was going to be the 'natural' mother who was going to try it without pain relief and so on and so forth. When the situation did not unfold as I had expected I was deeply disappointed. Obviously so much so that during the discussion with the GP today I began crying uncontrollably! Which was rather embarrassing considering I had only met the woman 5 minutes earlier. As we talked further she advised me to consider some options such as perhaps going private to ensure the section I wanted, or perhaps changing consultants to someone who had a better manner with patients. Now I am even more confused - women who have had successful VBAC's always rave about the experience. But I am concerned that VBAC rates here in Ireland are around 40 to 50 % which I don't think are great odds. Furthermore I get really stressed out thinking about the possibility of trying for a VBAC and then ending up with another emergency section. I'd much rather have the calmness that surrounds the process of going in to know when you will be sectioned without the 14 hour labour beforehand. But the natural birth is like the illusive oasis I am forever seeking in the desert. I know it is there, that it exists, and if I can only reach it I am sure it will satisfy my burning thirst. Oh you get what I am trying to say here. But doesn't a vaginal birth, combined with successful breastfeeding seem like the icing on the cake? My head actually hurts thinking about this. I just wish someone could guarantee me success so at least I wouldn't be so scared to try.

Happy Paddy's Day

I know I've been terrible about updating my blog recently. The truth is I have been so incredibly busy that I haven't had much of a chance to do anything really. We did however get to spend some lovely time together on Mother's Day that included going for a nice lunch and walking around the street festival held on Merrion Square. It was even warm enough to wear sandals and a dress! Today we are heading down the the parade and food festival in Ashbourne. I probably would be looking forward to it more if I weren't feeling so under the weather. My right eye has been particularly irritated lately and is puffy and crusty in the morning. Gross I know. I've also developed a sore throat and am congested. Yuck. I am hoping that this will all be gone by this weekend as my birthday is on Sunday.

The pregnancy has been going very well. I am now 21 weeks and we had our scan last week. It was a relief to see the baby as I feel like I haven't seen a doctor in forever. I actually have to find a new gp as I am doing combined care and my old gp doesn't do free combined care anymore. It was a hard decision not to go back to her as she is really excellent but when I added up the cost of 6 pregnancy visits and a 6 week check up in addition to anything else I might need I just couldn't justify it. I've become rather uncomfortable lately when sleeping; there is a nerve in my upper leg that throbs if I sleep too long on my right side. I had this on the last pregnancy and conveniently forgot about it, I also have been experiencing a crazy amount of acid reflux from things as simple as oatmeal and cornflakes. Ah the joys.